i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
