A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
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