alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
