what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
