just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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