She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
You may now shotgun with the bride
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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