OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
