And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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