Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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