sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
