suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
