doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
