Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
