I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
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