Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
