Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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