Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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