nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
