I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
You smell like stripper and shame
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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