do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
