OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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