The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
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