Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Randomize
