watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
i think i have herpe
just one?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
