You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Randomize
