dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
