OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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