I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
