my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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