make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
