hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
