to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Randomize
