So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
