Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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