I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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