I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
God I need to hump something, right now.
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