I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
