He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
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