Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize