I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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