Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
