you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
