Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Randomize
