...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
