drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize