i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
