I don't usually arrange sex via text message
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
