hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
