Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
