it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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